Life has been a bit crazy lately. But then again, as I write that…I think that every blog post I have written over the past two years has basically started the same way. I had this realization the other day when I was pondering if I was ever going to feel “on top of it.” My kids are swirling around, screaching, playing in dirt, bumping heads, crying…oh the endless crying. The mere thought of having to empty the dishwasher for the 2nd time in one day seems overwhelming. I keep thinking to myself…if I can just get past this hard stage then I’ll be ok…just make it out alive. Then I had this slightly unhappy thought of “what if this is just the way it is.”

We have made a lot of choices over the past few years that have really set us up quite nicely for a life lived on the edge…of insanity. When I am evaluating all of these choices, I honestly can’t really think of any that I am wanting to  let go of in order to save brain space. So, I have really had to sit myself down this week and talk to God about how in the world I am supposed to function in this way. For me, just coming to this acceptance has helped me. So on days when I feel like all my to-do list my swallow me up alive, I think about how this is just how it is right now and move along. I can personally waste a lot of time living in the “what if’s” and in the frustration that things aren’t the way I want them.

I specifically feel very challenged in the realm of child rearing and homeschooling. I have pretty much come to the determination that this was not intended to be done as a solo parent. Alex works outside of the home for 11 hours a day. That’s a REALLY long time to be alone with 3 children, manage a house and a business. It is for this reason that I feel I am putting every spare minute I have into building businesses that can help us achieve our ultimate goal of sustainability and for Alex to not have to work outside the house. It really is such a big dream.

It honestly brings me to humble tears thinking about how blessed we have been over these past few years. I cannot give God enough glory for what he has accomplished in our lives. I cannot thank our friends and family enough for the love, support and help they have been to us in all of our crazy endeavors.

So through it all, I fight hard and cry hard. Most days I don’t think I am going to get through it. Other days, I feel completely renewed and motivated. Accepting that this life that we have chosen is indeed a lot of work has helped me push past the regret, the envy, the pity and helped me put the pedal to the metal and make it happen. Fueled by passion, letting stress go.

work hard

Acceptance of "The Way it Is"
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5 thoughts on “Acceptance of "The Way it Is"

  • March 17, 2015 at 7:02 pm
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    You’ve got this! And it WILL get easier. Soon you’ll have small hands to help you rather than (or should I say in addition to) messing stuff up all around you. And when you get there, you’ll take a breath and be so proud to see them handling chores, working the gardens with you, and just generally becoming the helpful, kind people you hope they will become and that so many in our society refuse to work at raising. All your hard work and attentions will bloom, I just know it 😉

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    • March 17, 2015 at 8:59 pm
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      Thanks for that encouragement Melissa! As we were all out weeding the garden yesterday, I saw glimmers of what you are describing! Even the baby was helping and eating lots of dirt!

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  • March 17, 2015 at 8:51 pm
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    You are becoming such a powerful person as you grow in your understanding of all these choices and emotions. You are living the James quote, “Count it all joy when you suffer various trials” You are powerful because you understand that you do have choices and you are willing to continually review those choices and evaluate them before the Lord. I remember Toni Shaw (old aquatics director at Y) was overwhelmed one day and made the statement, “It’s only work!” What hit me and I have always remembered is that work is not good or bad necessarily, it is just how we FEEL about that work that sometimes gets us down and/or overwhelmed. So we can ask God for the grace to accomplish the task at hand, allow Him to empower us, give us physical strength, good rest and His presence to be with us every moment. He understands and longs to do that so that we live with passion and not stress!! Amen.

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    • March 17, 2015 at 9:00 pm
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      Amen and Amen! Thanks mama, couldn’t do it without you!

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  • March 19, 2015 at 6:55 pm
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    You amaze me my friend! God has certainly knit you together to accomplish big things and dream big dreams! So blessed to be by your side and witness what is unfolding! Fear has held me back from so many things and you guys are an inspiration to just go for it and trust in the LORD! Love you and the Spirit in you! 🙂

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